Roxane Gay hates it when people tell her to lighten up.īefore having weight loss surgery in 2018, Roxanne Gay described herself as 300 or 400 pounds overweight. Toughen yourself, we’re told, whoever we are, whatever we’ve been through or are going through. I think a lot about how we are constantly asked to make our skin ever thicker. It is a rejection of the expectation that we laugh off everything people want to say and do to us. It is a repudiation of the incessant valorizing of taking a joke, having a sense of humor. It is a defense of boundaries and being human and enforcing one’s limits. This is not a defense of Will Smith, who does not need me to defend him. Her book “How to Be Heard” is forthcoming. Gay, a contributing Opinion writer, is the editor of “The Selected Works of Audre Lorde” and the author of the memoir “Hunger,” among others. Yeah, actually, being able to take a joke without delegating your man to thrash the churl who insulted you is a basic requirement of modern civilization.ĭr. Jada Pinkett Smith Shouldn’t Have to ‘Take a Joke.’ Neither Should You.
